Operation: Steal Ulquiorra's Swag
by Singing Moon
Summary: Ulquiorra Schifer is the owner of the most prestigious bank in the world. Byakuya Kuchiki is second, and he does not like this. One night, he discovers a way to beat his rival. But is he being tricked?
1. Chapter 1

It was windy autumn day. The leaves on the trees had already changed to a red-gold hue. A tall man, wearing an expensive looking black coat, was walking briskly along the crowded sidewalk. He knew he was going to be late, but his car was getting a new coat of paint, so he had to travel on foot. The man sighed and drew his coat tighter around him. _I should buy 2 cars, _he thought to himself. _I have more than enough money anyway._

A large gray building appeared in the distance. It was an imposing structure, dull, but with a polished, dignified appearance. This building, a bank, was extremely famous. It belonged to none other than the amazing Byakuya Kuchiki.

Byakuya slowed down as he entered the lobby, as his entrance would look that much more dramatic. He smiled inwardly, as he often did when entering his bank. It was the source of his pride, and his life was dedicated to this business. The marble walls were as pristine as always, and the black carpeted floor was soft and thick. He walked over to the elevator, and rode it to his personal office at the top of the building, the 20th floor.

The wealthy man sat down comfortably on his leather office chair. He turned on his Luvaglio laptop and reached into his desk drawer and pulled out a Mont Blanc fountain pen.  
Byakuya was ready to start a new day of work.

Several hours later, he was feeling considerably less energized. Running the second most prestigious bank in the world was a very stressful job. He thought of going to a restaurant for lunch. _Yes, an expensive meal will certainly calm my nerves, _he decided. With that, he got up and left the building.

Byakuya had to walk home again after work. He was tired and irritated from his busy day, but he kept on his calm and graceful front. Until he got home, that is. The first thing the Kuchiki did when he entered his house was kick off his shoes. Then, he headed to the kitchen, throwing his coat and scarf on the floor as he went. Byakuya grabbed a carton of milk from the fridge, tore it open and gulped half of it down. After that, he felt much better. He picked up his things properly and went to start a bath.

_Ahh…a good bath is so relaxing. _Byakuya was feeling great again as he settled down on his white microfiber Ethan Allen couch, cup of coffee in hand. His living room, and his whole house, for that matter, was always furnished with luxurious items. Expensive was the way Byakuya Kuchiki liked it. He picked up the remote and turned on his TV, a Beovision 4-103. Contentedly channel surfing, he suddenly choked on his coffee.

_Well, look who it is, _Byakuya thought resignedly. _I guess I shouldn't be surprised…he is always on TV for some reason or other. He is incredibly successful after all. _He gritted his teeth. On the screen was the owner of the number one most prestigious bank in the world. His greatest rival. Seeing him on the news _yet again _was quite frustrating. Byakuya was an excellent bank manager himself. But he would always be overshadowed by this man…. the mighty Ulquiorra Schifer.


	2. Chapter 2

"So, Mr. Schifer," the news anchor was saying, "Tonight, as you know, we have invited you here to share some of the secrets behind your successful career." Byakuya sat upright. He couldn't believe Ulquiorra would willingly tell the public about his methods. There were many who would kill for this knowledge, and here he was freely giving it away? _I have got to see this, _Byakuya thought. _Although, of course, there is nothing I would need to learn from him. _

"There is no secret." Ulquiorra said. "I am just like any other man who is trying to make his way in this world. The fact that I have risen so fast to the top is not because of any particular talent of mine." The newswoman looked surprised for a second, but quickly regained her composure.

"You don't have to be so modest. Everyone knows that you must have a rare ability. How else could you have made it to the top?"

Ulquiorra sighed. "Look, woman," he began, "I have no rare skill or ability or gift of any sort. Call it luck or fate, but I didn't do anything special to get myself to the top. I wouldn't even be here at this interview in the first place if all my advisers hadn't told me to come. Now that I see this will be a waste of my time, I take my leave of this place." With that, he abruptly walked off the camera.

Byakuya was irritated. He had always thought that Ulquiorra must have a unique talent of some sort to always have been ahead of him all these years. The thought of being beaten by a regular guy with no special skill whatsoever definitely beat down on his pride. All this time, he had thought that, once he found out the other man's secret, he should be able to find a way to overtake him. To learn that there was no secret method frustrated him to no end. There was no way that he, Byakuya Kuchiki, would allow himself to be beaten by any common man.

The next morning, Byakuya picked up his car. He was too preoccupied to admire the new coat of custom paint. He drove to work in a bad mood. " Good morning, sir!" a teller called out. He wasn't even acknowledged. Byakuya went straight up to his office. _I must focus. I must beat that man. I swear that I will beat him and show him who's the better businessman.__  
_

He worked the whole day, not stopping to eat or drink or visit the restroom. His employees wisely left him alone. Byakuya stayed at his desk the whole day, lost in his work. Until someone knocked on the door. Feeling snappish, Byakuya curtly said, "Enter."

"Good evening," Ulquiorra greeted him smoothly. Byakuya was shocked, but he remained impassive on the outside.

"Why have you come to my office in the middle of the day?" Byakuya asked coldly.

"I wanted to speak to you, of course."

Byakuya was suspicious. " What about?"

"I assume you watch the news regularly."

" Of course I do. Why in the world would you be concerned about that?"

"Then I also assume you have watched my interview last night."

Byakuya stiffened. "Yes, the one where you said you had no special talent in this business."

"I was lying. I have something others don't." Ulquiorra stated.

Byakuya raised an eyebrow at him. "You came here just to tell me that? I could care less, I am a better businessman than you, regardless. It is only because of unfortunate circumstances that your bank is more successful than mine as of now."

"As of now? You are saying you will overtake me some time in the future?"

"Of course."

" Would you be willing to risk your entire business on it?"

"...I have confidence."

"Fine. I give you one year. If your bank can outperform mine when it is over, I shall hand over my business to you. If you lose, you will give your business to me."

"So that's why you came here..that's preposterous!"

"I thought you were confident in your ability to beat me."

Byakuya glared. "I am."

"Then accept the challenge."


	3. Chapter 3

Green was Byakuya's favorite color. It was also the color he hated the most. After all, green is the color of money, and money was his favorite thing. That was why he ran a bank. On the other hand, green was also the color of Ulquiorra's eyes. He hated those eyes; they were always cold, always looking down on him. He could remember how he had felt as those eyes stared at him, goading, making him feel inferior, and making him want to prove himself. So he had accepted the challenge. _What an awful mistake_, he reflected now.

Byakuya's bank was as successful as it ever was. That was both good and bad. It wasn't losing money, but it hadn't gotten any closer to matching the profits that Ulquiorra's bank made, much less beat them. He couldn't imagine how his rival could possibly do it; make a bigger profit than him while keeping his lending rate lower. _  
_

The Kuchiki sighed. Whatever the reason for Ulquiorra's success, the fact still remained that he needed to overcome him in 5 months, or lose his entire business. His bank, which he had spent his entire life building, was at stake if he did not do well. No wonder his stress levels were so high these days.

Byakuya's mind shifted back to the conversation he had with Ulquiorra. _"I have something the others don't." _That phrase always came back to him. He couldn't figure out if the man had been lying to psyche him up, or been telling the truth. It was probably the former, but Byakuya couldn't help thinking that maybe his rival _did _have something extra. And if he could find out what it was…

He shook his head to clear it. There would be a small meeting with several of his investors to discuss the running of the bank. Byakuya needed to be ready for that, and he would need to be careful. He had not yet revealed that he might be losing his entire business in less than a year from now. No, he must not think like that, he would not be humiliated. He remembered Ulquiorra's parting words. _"I shall enjoy your humiliation."_

The investors filed in. Byakuya immediately noticed one of them. His height, muscular build, and blue hair stood out from the rest by a mile. He also wore a hoodie and jeans instead of a suit. _I should not be getting distracted, it is no concern of mine what any of them choose to look like._ Clearing his throat, he began the meeting.

* * *

Three hours later, the room was empty, except for that one particular odd-looking man, whose name, Byakuya learned, was Grimmjow Jaguerjaquez. " Can I help you?" he inquired.

" You know you can't win, the way you're going."

Byakuya stared at him. " I'm afraid I don't know what you mean."

Grimmjow snorted. " Do you or do you not have a bet with Ulquiorra that you can beat his bank in a year?"

Byakuya did not know whether to acknowledge or deny this, so he remained silent. Grimmjow sighed. He held up some financial sheets, tax forms, and other documents Byakuya had given to the investors. " You need to make more drastic changes. You can't win like this. There's no way you can outperform him unless you think of some special way to trump him."

The two stared each other down. Finally, Byakuya decided that he couldn't deny about the challenge. That would only make Grimmjow mad that he was lying. After all, he was a shareholder, and he needed to tell his shareholders important things that could affect his business. He only wondered how Grimmjow knew about the challenge in the first place. He hoped it wasn't common knowledge.

" So you think I can't win. Why do you say that?"

" Because. Ulqiuorra's got something already. Something you don't."


	4. Chapter 4

"He has S.W.A.G."

Byakuya wasn't sure if he had heard correctly. "What? He has swag?"

"That's what I said." Grimmjow looked bored. "There, I just told you his big secret, now he's gonna get all mad at me." He turned toward the door. "Bye."

_Swag? Isn't that a slang word that kids always use these days? Was he trying to be funny? _Byakuya did not understand what to do with this information. _Perhaps it was his way of saying Ulquiorra is naturally better than me. _Gritting his teeth, Byakuya growled, "It won't stop me. I will win this bet."

* * *

"Excellent." Ulquiorra sipped his tea with pleasure. "What did he say about it?"

Grimmjow shrugged. "He didn't say anything. Just looked at me all strange."

"That is natural. He wouldn't understand what you were talking about. Not to worry, it is part of my plan. Everything is going smoothly. You have done well." Ulquiorra smirked to himself. His Super Win A Game serum, or S.W.A.G., was a special concoction that enabled the drinker to be successful in all games, bets, or contests. Three cups a day and his rival's bank would be his. It didn't hurt that the stuff was delicious. He could easily stand to drink it all year.

"Yeah, whatever, good for you," Grimmjow said. "You know, that bank's security sucks. I was able to pretend I was the assistant of one of the Kuchiki's shareholders and get in to the meeting quite easily. Man, I hope your guards are way brighter than his. Well, I'm done, so can I go now?"

" Yes. You have provided me a valuable service." Ulquiorra gave Grimmjow some money and watched him leave. Thanks to the man's help, Stage 2 in his plan to take over Byakuya's business was complete.

_Now, time for the preparations for the final part of the plan._

* * *

Running his fingers through his hair, Byakuya thought through his conversation with Grimmjow again. He simply did not understand what the other man had been referring to. He sighed, which he seemed to be doing a lot these days. "If anything can help me, it is research," he said aloud. Byakuya got up and went to turn on his computer.

He found the answer 5 hours later. _S.W.A.G. serum, huh? This is definitely illegal if he got it on the black market. I could get him in so much trouble with this, not to mention that I have finally figured out his secret._ Byakuya stared triumphantly at the screen. Then something occurred to him. If the S.W.A.G. serum actually worked, there was no way Byakuya could win this bet. He would lose his bank anyway. Finding this out was essentially useless. _Unless...I start using this serum myself.__  
_


	5. Chapter 5

The days were turning warmer as spring drew nearer. Trees unfurled their new leaves, and grass poked out from the bare ground. Birds were beginning to sing again. Byakuya's mood improved along with the weather.

He had a plan. A plan to defeat Ulquiorra. It wasn't a perfect plan. He knew the chances of it actually working were small, but he would try all the same. His bank, along with his future, was at stake. No matter how risky the plan seemed, he was determined to pull it off. However, he would need help from someone to make it work. He had enlisted a bright young girl by the name of Rukia.

A week later, Byakuya put his plan in action.

* * *

Ulquiorra knew it was only a matter of time before Byakuya figured out his secret. He also knew that when he did, he would try to get his hands on some of the S.W.A.G. serum. Byakuya wouldn't go to the police with this. His enormous pride would make him feel compelled to beat his rival and save his bank by himself. Even if he did, there was no evidence that it was true. Ulquiorra had covered his tracks very carefully.

It wasn't possible to buy it anymore. Ulquiorra himself had made sure of that when he bought the supplier's entire stock, and destroyed the equipment and recipe that would be needed to make more. The only way for Byakuya to get the serum was by stealing it from him. Ulquiorra was counting on his rival to do this, and had hatched a brilliant plan.

He went down to his secret basement, where he kept his supply of the serum. Getting out old boxes, he wrote S.W.A.G. on them as a label. He hid the real S.W.A.G. serum in a safe in his bedroom. Then, he filled all the empty boxes with bottles of beer that he had purchased. Ulquiorra had switched the bottles on both drinks, so that when Byakuya found the boxes, he would think he had discovered the supply of S.W.A.G. serum. _Just let the fool try to steal from me now. _He happily returned to his room.

* * *

About 4 months later, there was an exciting news story being reported. The famous Ulquiorra Schiffer, the owner of the most prestigious bank in the world, had willingly given up his business to none other than Byakuya Kuchiki. The public was stunned by this news.

"Mr. Schiffer refuses to disclose the reason," a TV spokesman was saying. "It remains to be seen whether this was purely a generous act, or if he had other motives. Both men are not willing to discuss the issue."

Ulquiorra gritted his teeth. He did not enjoy his defeat. He didn't want it on the news. It was bad enough he had lost, he didn't really need it getting shoved in his face. Especially not when his rival was sitting right beside him.

Byakuya smiled at Ulquiorra when he felt his rival's gaze shift to him. "Interesting news story tonight, isn't it?"

"You have already won. Why must you make me live through this?"

Byakuya smiled wilder. "Because my friend, I enjoy your humiliation."


	6. Chapter 6

This was how Byakuya's master plan worked:

Rukia pretends to be looking for a job and gets hired as one of Ulquiorra's maids.

She finds out everything she can about the location of the S.W.A.G. serum. She also finds out about any security measures Ulquiorra might use, such as burglar alarms, cameras, etc.

Report the information back to Byakuya.

Byakuya would then disguise himself and sneak into his rival's mansion.

He goes to the hiding place of the serum and mixes the bottles with water, making the liquid useless. The beer bottles in the basement would also be taken to make it seem like he fell for the trick.

Since Ulquiorra had not drunk the serum for the whole duration of his bet, the effectiveness would disappear.

Byakuya did some more sabotage. He burned Ulquiorra's important documents that were required to run his bank.

His bank pulled ahead of Ulquiorra's, and he was able to win the bet.

* * *

Author's Note:

Yay I am finally done. This story was greatly helped by my awesome friend. We were bored at lunch one day in school and somehow created this idea. It was pretty funny and we decided to put it on Fanfiction. I made many modifications in order to make the story flow more and have it make more sense because we used a lot of inside jokes in the original. Humor is generally not my strong point in writing, but I hope you enjoyed this story and thank you to all reviewers and followers and readers.


End file.
